The Challenges of Interfaith Marriages
By TDF. Filed in Marriage |
When two individuals get married they are combining families along
with all of the traditions, joys, sorrows and prejudices that are part
of their family’s heritages. Interfaith marriages definitely contribute
to the complexity of combining families.
On the other hand when two come together in Holy matrimony they
become the foundation of future generations. This is a beginning of
future generations and the decisions of the newlyweds are what matters.
Interfaith Marriages don’t Matter to God
Marriage is an invention of God’s. Although God’s laws are “defined”
through religion His love is the universal component in all religions
and the most important reality. While one religion may suggest the
worship of God while on your knees and another religion has you
standing up while you pray, both religions are praying to the same God.
It is the guidance of God’s rules for happiness that helped both
individuals become good people as interpreted through their family
first and religion second… right?
The families of both bride and groom sacrificed tremendously in order
to protect and properly care for their respective children so when they
suddenly announce their intention of marrying outside of their faith it
is taken as a rejection of their values and a lack of appreciation for
what they did; it is understandable. But it is not a rejection of the
parents, at worst it is an assertion of a new beginning.
The Spiritual Aspect of God and His Love Underlines all Religions and all Marriages
Marriage is a Spiritual Union
The couple who marries vow to each other with God as their witness, and
it is God who sanctifies the marriage. The couple doesn’t have to worry
about who performs the marriage ceremony; it will still be a Holy
matrimony. But they do have to decide how they will raise their
children.
Future Parents must Make Decisions for their own Family
A universal reality is that once a couple joins together in
matrimony and leaves the house of their parents they begin a new family
and new lineage. Sometimes parents don’t understand what that means at
first. Because of their love and attachment they insist upon continuing
to impose their own values on the new family that they consider to be
an offshoot of their own, and it is. But it is independent, taking root
in its new soil, and the new couple must choose for themselves the
destiny of their family.
It is wise and loving for parents to be supportive of whatever decision the couple makes and not try to influence them.
It is very important for the future parents to decide how their
children will be raised. After all, marriage in the faith of the
children is creating consistency and security for them. Putting off the
presumed “shock” is not helpful. Your parents deserve the consideration
of your honesty. If they reject you because of your decision you must
understand that you knew when you started dating outside your faith
that yours may become an interfaith marriage. You chose to put your
future in your own hands even if it meant partial or total rejection
from your parents and now is not the time to judge them. Let them have
time for the reality to sink in. Let them come to a resolution in their
own mind and in their own way; no selling or cajoling.
Your Family will be Defined by the Values you Adhere To
Now is the time to practice the art of discussions. In my book
Lessons For A Happy Marriage I help couples learn the art of marital
discussions. You may wish to review the principles and techniques found
there. But in the meantime remember some very important points
1) Be nice - control your behavior no matter how you feel
2) Be understanding - no one has a handle on ultimate truth except God
3) Be loving - care deeply for all you interact with
